Exploring self-confidence

Let’s look at the word ‘confidence’ first. Its root is in the Latin word ‘confidentia’, which means to have faith – to have trust. So, when you speak about ‘self-confidence’, you are talking specifically about your faith in yourself. How much trust and faith you have in what you are able to do.

Here’s an example. Ask someone – who has very little experience of giving any presentations –  to give a big presentation to a large group of important people and they will probably say that they do not feel confident giving that presentation. And quite right too! There is nothing lacking in them – we asked them to do something that was not appropriate, given the level of presentation experience they had.

I give this example because many people think that if we have low self-confidence about something, then that must be a worrying thing. But, no! We all have things which we are confident about and things where we do not have much confidence.

Can I now give you a personal example? Some years ago, I was asked to mentor someone who was a poor communicator. The Director who asked me to work with him proposed that, “It should only take a couple of hours”.

I told her that I was not confident that my session would have any effect on his ability to communicate. Not because I lacked the skills, but because I lacked the time. Two hours to turn around a behaviour that this manager had carried for over 20 years was going to take a lot longer than two hours!

So, to tell someone that you are not ‘confident’ about something is a statement about your ability to do something, not how capable you are overall. Even the highest achievers will have areas that they lack confidence in – and the secret is having the honesty to know where your skills shine (things you are confident about) and where your skills might be lacking at the moment.